he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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