Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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