she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
either way he was missing a nipple.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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