You're so nebulous sometimes
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
