ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
