Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
