pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
