I need help removing her.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I didn't notice because vodka
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
