I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
