I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
my sisters under your porch take her home
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
