I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
