she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I just googled if crying burns calories
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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