Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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