On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize