I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
