Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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