Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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