summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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