Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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