You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I just gargled with NyQuil
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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