My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
im holly from the hills drunk
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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