After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
