why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
do nipples grow back?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
