just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
