you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
