What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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