This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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