I can text with my tongue
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
