Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
