he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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