tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
