Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
