I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
