I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
