Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
