Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
