I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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