Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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