Your face is a jimmy john
You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Randomize