Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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