I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
