Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
