I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
