i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
