I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize