Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
