I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
