I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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