I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
