I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
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