PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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