Please, let me fuck your mom
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
