Ambien. No doubt about it.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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