I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
