I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Randomize
