sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize