considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
