She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
