I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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