I wanna bring you to show and tell
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
accomplished twins. life is a go
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
