Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I have tasted many bathrooms
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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