so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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