I'm lost and stupid without you.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
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